Monday, December 14, 2009

WHY DO MEN CHEAT?











Definitely this is not an easy question to answer and surely the reasons why men cheat are numerous and varied. But we want to particularly know why our man cheated. We shall start by defining cheating and settling the border between what is “cheating” and not. Does there have to be a certain “commitment” so that we can accuse our man of cheating? Do we have to be married or engaged to be able to label him as a “cheater”. Well, I don’t think so. Cheater is the one who lets you know you are the only woman in his life while this is not true. So the level of commitment does not excuse him for being unfaithful.
Is only the sexual element likely to provoke the act of “cheating”? Certainly not. Remember the bible’s words “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Nothing is truer, so believe me, HE HAS NO ESCUSE. Don’t be tolerant! Excuses such as, "I barely know her, I never touched her or it was just sex", should only be reasons to help you decide to leave him.
The more explicit the act of cheating is the bigger the pain for the betrayed. In this stage it’s obvious that feelings get dramatically damaged, basically nothing form this point on will be the same. All will inevitably result in "breaking up" that will show up sooner or later in the form of divorce or separation or just in slowly falling out of love: in her heart, the betrayed woman has broken up, but does not separate, generally in couples with children. One thing is clear, nothing in the heart of the betrayed will ever be the same and the woman will later continue looking for the guy of her dreams. But now let’s make an ex ray of the betrayed in order to notice and understand the repercussions of cheating:
1. The first reaction will be to get angry and cry. Woman feels like the whole world is collapsing around her. Feelings such as hatred or thoughts of revenge might appear as well.
2. Another reaction might be to try to repair the relationship believing that you are to blame for his infidelity.
3. Others might think about going on with the relationship when there are involved children or when she really loves the man and for the moment leaving him would hurt her more than accepting his infideliy.
Depending on which of those two reactions are stronger the woman will decide whether she goes on with the relationship or not.
In case you decide not to go on with the relationship which is the single recommendable decision, the woman should be very firm about it. Adios muchacho! Do not answer his phone calls, emails, text messages or at the door. In case you are not married thank God every day that you did not! You would be paying a lawyer to help you get rid of him! What do you want to do: to give him a second chance to break your heart?
If you chose to keep your cheating guy (at least until you undertand that you deserve more than that), then handle the situation very carefully. Be calm, make it clear to him that you forgive him, but also assure him that there will not be a next time. Don’t let him fool you again and again, all he will understand is that you have no self-respect and that you agree with his behavior, which YOU DON”T.
Some women may chose to go on with the realtionship as they don’t want to remain alone and just want to prolong the relationship until something better shows up. Let’s say it’s just about the fear of loneliness: "He's better than nothing!"
Let’s concentrate now on the question why do men cheat? Do all men cheat? NO. A man who knows what he wants never takes chances.
Here’s when and why men cheat:
1. He never intended to have any sort of commitments with you in case he is not your husband. He doesn’t take the relationship seriously.
2. The cheater is no longer satisfied with his woman but in the same time is too weak to end the current relationship.
3. They need new sex, more sex or different sex (that’s why they don’t necessarily cheat with women that are more attractive than their partners). That's why the saying "when she gets undressed is magic, when you get undressed is tragic" is not always true.
4. When he no longer feels sexually attracted to you or when you seem disinterested, or don’t offer him enough sex.
5. He met somebody new who seems to have more in common with him, who is more receptive at his interests and desires, which is more supportive. He will never fail to check their compatibilities in bed too.
6. If you have forgiven him for cheating you in the past it is 100% sure that he will do it again. It’s all that is in his mind. So he cheats you because he did it before, here is another reason.
7. You argue too much and he needs someone who is happy and smiling all the time, someone who offers him the peace he needs.
8. He might also cheat because you have gained weight and are no longer attractive.
What about when men cheat on beautiful women? Well, there is one explanation available.
9. Men cheat with women that are “available”, (beautiful women and not very likely to be singles, so as a consequence they go for what others refused - the uglies). Whenever the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for a man to turn it down.
To some guys cheating is actually a mental disorder. They are simply sex addicts. They go to prostitutes, visit porn sites. Most of those men have happy relationships and they might even feel guilty for cheating, but they just can't stop! (See the cases of celebrities where very beautiful women are unexplainably cheated by their partners.)
This cheater will always try to find an excuse for his behavior: he will tell you that he was drunk, trickled, drugged, seduced, mislead. The cheater will never accept the responsibility. That’s how little he is.

When a man cheats while he is married, engaged or involved in a long term relationship, it is obvious that he doesn’t love his partner. Another reason may also be that he doesn’t want to stay in the relationship but feels he can not get out for reasons such as: children, religion, family business, they fear they might end by being alone, they are afraid of a bad reaction from their family members, etc.).
Cheaters SHOULD do us all a favor: GET OUT OF WHAT THEY ARE IN, THEN GO FOR THE OTHER PERSON. This is the only HONEST way to do it.
In my opinion breaking up is the best way to deal with a cheater. Cheating proves so clearly that the man you love doesn’t care about you. The only circumstance in which you can try to repair the situation is if you have kids WITH HIM and in this case it’s worth repairing the relationship. If you have children with this cheater and you consider that you might be responsible for one of the reason I listed above (if you neglected him, if you stopped showing interest and being supportive, etc), try to repair your poor relationship, though it was proved that the breaking up will occur one day. Once your man cheats on you, nothing is more obvious than the fact that he no longer cares about you.
It might be true that sex has nothing to do with love, but when you love somebody you don’t lie and hurt the one you love. And men who cheat will always repeat their offense; some do this right after they get caught. Only a few women will stay with a cheater, especially the ones that are really in love or like I mentioned before, the ones who have children with the cheater, but this should not make him feel any happier, because in both cases he will never enjoy the love and the respect he had before from his partner. So it’s a lost cause from the start for them too. 
Prior to their act of cheating, men don't feel guilty, only after they get caught they might have a few regrets and mostly conneceted to the fact that they got caught and not that they hurt you. If he is not discovered he goes on cheating with no remorse, that's what makes such men real cold blooded individuals. Some go on with the clandestine relationship right after getting caught. Nothing seems to stop them.
Remember that cheating is nothing but a proof of low self esteem, little self worth,  sign of being immature and unsure, for all sort of cheaters, both men and women.

No matter how much you loved him, how great sex was with him, no matter how rich he is or how far along the pregnancy, it's time for you to wake up, there are plenty of good men left out there and you don't want to miss them!


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